Dec. 30 - Invercargill

Dec. 30, 2008
Invercargill (the "arsehole of NZ", according to Mick Jagger)


Well, I woke up at the southernmost point in NZ's So. Island this morning 1 day ahead of schedule: I was shooting for NYE.

It wasn't quite clear whether I was camped on public land or not, so I was a little wary when I heard an ATV driving around the bluff in the middle of the night. I looked over and he was sweeping through the fields with a spotlight, clearly looking for something. Then, I heard the gunfire:

KRAK! KRAK! KRAK!

in rapid succession, and very close. I was frozen. Not much I could do, really. Leaving the tent, I could be mistaken for whatever he was hunting. So I staid put.

When he drove around to my side of the bluff, he flashed his spotlight on my tent three times in succession. This is it, I thought, this guys gonna fuck with me. But then he took off.

I realized today that he probably didn't intentionally flick his light on my tent 3 times; he was probably sweeping over the landscape back-and-forth with the light. And what the hell was he hunting? I thought maybe some pest species that was affecting his cattle ranch...?

To be honest, I felt less in danger here than I would have in the US. I figured that at most, the guy would buzz me...but it wasn't clear to me that he even intended to do that. He did leave after he spotted me.

Dec. 27 -- Dunedin (post-Routeburn Track)

Dec. 28
Brighton (just S of Dunedin)


The highlight of the Routeburn Trail was celebrating Hanukkah on Christmas Day at the Routeburn Flats Campground with 3 Israelis (a woman traveling solo and two guys.) They lit 6 candles in the rain and all sang songs. It was a special moment.

I won't go into the Routeburn -- the clouds mostly obscured the alpine scenery. You could "sense" that it was there, but you couldn't see it. I may make another bid -- just a dayhike -- coming from the Milford Sound side...if it's clear.

In my final analysis, NZ backpacking cannot compete with that of the Sierra Nevada. You just can't beat that California sunshine! Plus, the abundance of alpine lakes and opportunites for solitude in the Sierra reallly place the home front in first place. Give me a summer day in the Ansel Adams or Emigrant Wilderness, and you can pretty much be sure that it's going to be a great day.

Anyway, Queenstown had become an unbelievable jam of tourists who were peeing in Moke Lake, harrassing my favorite waitress at Sombrero's, and basically just acting like Fisherman's Wharf tourists. Plus, the sandfly situation was not improving. Those things come out when it's rainy/wet, and they disappear when it's hot and sunny. So, you get a double-whammy when it rains b/c the shitflies swarm you.

Thankfully, the sandflies are not everywhere...and this red-blooded Californian still hadn't been in the ocean. So, I drove out to Dunedin on the East Coast. The Central Otago countryside is remarkably arid and treeless; many places could pass for California.

Dunedin is, well...Dunedin. The architecture is styled after Scotland and I don't find it very warm. Plus, there seem to be very few trees for some reason. The city center is oriented around an octagonal street grid, the center of which is called "The Octagon". So, everything orients around The Octagon.

Now, if you just go 3 km south from the Octagon, you find yourself at St. Clair Beach, which is a beautiful beach with perfect white sand in a salty, laid-back beach community. This is a cool place. And, the surf looked really nice.

I picked up a surfboard and had my first surf session today at Blackhead, which is a cove that looks incredibly similar to Rockaway. The kiwis were just as friendly in the water as they are on land. The water is about 58-60, the swell was about 2-3', and the predictable offshore wind was howling.

So, I am heading south via the Catlins coastline to Invercargill, from which point I need to head back to Queenstown to pick up my birthday package. I don't know what the email connectivity will be for the next few days, but I would presume not that good. I'm sure I'll get online by NYE.

Dec. 24 -- Q-town

Dec. 24, XMAS Eve
Queenstown -- Sombrero's Mexican Restaurant (deja vu)

It happened just as promised....and it happened overnight: summer arrived in NZ. It's hot as shit, the lake is pure glass, and the streets of Queenstown are manic and choked with tourists like Fisherman's Wharf in high season. Wow.

I can't tell you how different this is from the days when I was cringing in my Subaru in the rain in deserted beach towns. Today is like one of those perfect summer days at Tahoe, when the lake is mirror glassy, the sky is clear, the beaches are packed with screaming kids splashing around, and it's all good. Chrismastime..... and the living is easy.

I got the 411 from a local gal on on the primo lake spot for "freedom camping" (that's what they call guerrilla camping here). It's warmer than the big lake with the impossible-to-spell name, has nice grass to walk around barefoot in, and -- here's the clincher -- no sandflies!!!!!!

Tomorrow I embark on the 3-day Routeburn Track. This is the one that they say is "one of the finest trails on the planet." So, I'll be out of contact 'til the 27th or 28th.

Here's wishing you happy and mirthful Christmas stylings this year.
Miss you all,
Tomate

Dec. 23 -- Queenstown

Dec. 23
Queenstown
Sombrero's Mexican Cantina

NZ continues to blow my mind. I talked to these local high schoolers from Glenorchy (Glenorchy is like Point Reyes Station). These kids were so damn mature, courteous, and wordly, I was totally surprised. You'd think in some end-of-the-road they'd be hicks or burnouts -- or at least, hate where they live -- but they were were totally stoked to be living there b/c of all the outdoor offerings. One had an Olympian skiier Mom and they had basically been raised tramping, skiing, etc...

Three things these kids told me really stand out as distinctly NZ:

First, they kept talking proudly about a 2 week outward bound-style wilderness trip that their high school is famous for in NZ. They said that they have friends who had transferred to the school just so they could do the trip! Thinking of my Big City Mountaineers youth, I am so impressed that the average kiwi public high schooler would be so excited to go on a demanding 2-week backcountry experience.

Second, they said that Lake Wakapittiu (whatever) is the only lake in the world that has noticeable tides! ~ 16 cm!

Third, their classmate gets dropped at high school in a helicopter. !!!!!

Dec. 23 -- Glenorchy (back from Rees Valley tramp)

Kinloch (across Lake Wakatipu from Glenorchy)
Nov. 23, 2008

I was so "bushed" coming out of the backcountry last night, that it was all I could do to pull into the campground here by the lake, throw out my tent, and collapse. Apparently, I did it right in the middle of the boat ramp! Oh well. This morning I'm having banana pancakes and listening to the muzak version of "Easy Like Sunday Morning" at some super-groovy end-of-the road "hotel". I am celebrating completion of my tramp on the Rees Valley!

The trip was uber-stunning, a life experience...and a crash course in NZ tramping, too. (it'll be in my forthcoming guidebook: "New Zealand: It Ain't Mexico (or Yosemite)).

Friday:
I hiked out of the TH into cloudly skies at 5:45 pm. I thought I'd do at least 2 hours and stop at 25-Mile Hut, which is "maintained" by a private mountaineering club. Of course, I spent over an hour negotiating various creek fords, only to posthole in a swamp near the end.

There was a sign for the hut, but only the faintest track going straight uphill and out of sight. As I huffed up the hill, I wondered if the hut was even still there? surely they would have removed the sign?

Well, the hut was there, or at least, 3/4 of it was. The chimney side was mostly blown out by fire, and the chimney stones were blasted all over. Inside, there were 2 passable bunks, but some of the others had trash, branches and spiderwebby-animal detritus. In truth, it would have made a perfect set for a horror movie.

Saturday:
Within an hour of falling asleep on Friday night, it started to rain madly...and never stopped, all through Saturday. I was trapped: even if had I braved the rain, the various river and creek crossings would have been impassable -- going up-trail, or back to the car. So I had to chill...and that is precisely what I did, as the storm was colder than shit and the wind came right in through the open wall. I built a sarcophagus with my tent fly, and spent all day cringing in my bag. It was not a stone groove. The next morning, there was snow just upslope.

Sunday:
In true NZ style, the miserable rain passed and left the most beautiful day ever. The Rees Valley is a broad river basin flanked by impossibly big mountains with brilliant white glaciers. It's a million-dollar view. And the river is so damn clear, you can see the bottom perfectly.
A couple hours upriver, the basin closes up, and the trail enters forest and starts to charge up the mountain. The only rule to NZ forests is that there is growth everywhere...whether its ferns or beech trees or tussock, it's like someone put dynamite in a massive vat of green paint and BOOM-SPLAT! there you have it. And endless little waterfall grottos and Elvin environs, Middle Earth-style.

Climbing higher, the trail passes through some alpine meadows that offer sick views as you traverse avalanche runoff chutes. Then, you arrive at a flat-ish basin right below the finned ridge where the Shelter Rock Hut is located. "Hut" doesn't really capture the true plushness of the joint; running water, flush toilets, and like 30 bunks. Plus, a veranda for chiling out and mixing it up with the Germans and Fins. But -- and here's the rub -- no swimming!!! NZ tramping is mostly about carrying your backpack from hut-to-hut. It's not like the Sierra, where you hike to a lake, and drop the pack for swimmming and day bags.

Monday:
Didn't really have enough food to keep going in, and had to be back for the Routeburn Track on the 25th (changed my start date), so I hiked out on another spectacular day. A funny thing happened when I got down to the river basin: this hot chick in full gaiters was coming up-trail, turn's out she was a Mormon from Utah. No shit. And in trying to cross a little pond, she ate shit right in front of me. I wish I could say that I was a gentleman, but I couldn't help but crack up. It was comedy. Anyway, we may hook up after or respective tramps. I hope she is on that "year off" of experimentation that all the Mormons do.

The way back was endless spectacular views, and some demanding swamp-trudging and crazy workarounds at river sections, where you'd climb straight up the banks a couple hundred feet, and straight down. I was most fatigued when I arrived back at my coach. Bushed, indeed.

Dec. 18 -- Queenstown, yo

If I haven't been laying it on thick, it's because it would get redundant...but I just gotta say again that is place is EXQUISITELY pretty. I mean, coming into Queenstown was borderline outrageous. Phenomenal. Visual masturbation for the wilderness pornographer

Damn. I'm still reeling. Basically, the road from Wanaka to Queenstown says 58 km, so I'm like, "cool, it's less than an hour." What the map did not show me is that the road included a high, snowy pass crossing, multiple washouts, ribbon-like switchhbacks, and the occasional sheep herd traffic jam. Plus, I was stopping every third minute to check the view. In other words, your typical NZ drive.

Queenstown is a major tourist hub, providing access to Milford Sound and the Routeburn Track (Fjordland NP and Mt. Aspiring NP, respectively.) It also enjoys a setting on par with Tahoe, with deep blue lakes and wild, fin-like mountain peaks all around. Whether you are driving or walking, every turn brings a new view.

This is also where the first bungee jump was legalized in 1988, and is basically Disneyland for the outdoor/adrenaline junkie. I find it overwhelming, and I'm eager to eat my Mexican meal and blast on to Glenorchy, which is the gateway town for my next 2 tramps (Rees/Dart Valleys and Routeburn).

NZ has sooo much going for it that the guidebook didn't even mention that I was about to pass through a world-class view. They're a dime-a-dozen down here.

Incidentally, I had an interesting conversation with a waitress from Maryland. She says that NZ suffers from talent flight, as the best and the brightest leave for Oz, Europe or the US. Then, I heard on the radio today, that outmigration is at an all time high. Maybe its the sandflies.

Dec. 17 - Wanaka Wanaka Wanaka

Dec. 17, 2008
Wanaka

Fucking New Zealand, man. The weather here is truly unbelievable. Last night, my patience was starting to flag. Between sandflies, mosquitoes, marauding kea, wind, and rain, I've been cringing in my tent or car for like a fortnight. I can't remember the last time that I could sit outside on my camp chair in the evening and read a book.

Then today, I woke up to such a jaw-droppingly beautiful day, it was like being re-born. Stunning. And the best part is today was my first swim! If you could have told me back in October that I would be in NZ/Oz for 6 weeks before I could swim, I would have had second thoughts about the trip. Swimming is the best part of camping...and it's also how you stay clean. But weather and infection have conspired to keep me out of the water...'til today.

I sat in my car at lake's edge, timing my entrry into the lake with the sun coming out from the clouds. When the sun's behind the clouds, it's freezing, and when the sun comes out, it's like a nuclear inferno. This is just how it is in NZ.

I plunged into the lake, and it felt so good, that I just drifted underwater from my dive for a long, long time. I was cleansed of all the crusty days of playing the waiting game.

Anyway, I just read my journal entries for the last 2 days, and had to truncate the paragaphs of griping about the weather. It's not only kept me off the trail, but it makes camping really suck.

The storm is passing today, and tomorrow I set off on a 4/5-day circuit in Rees/Dart Valleys. We are finally at EXECUTION PHASE! 45 fucking days to get to this point, man. I am so ready.

I get back from the Rees-Dart Circuit on the 22nd, and the next day I set off on a 3-day out-and-back on the Routeburn Track, coming out of the backcountry on XMAS day. There is a slight possibility that I will not be able to get online between the two trips, and if that's the case, I want to wish every one a Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukkah!

If I haven't posted by Dec. 27, the point-of-contact is the Dept. of Conservation office in Glenorchy. But I wouldn't worry: these tramps are not only hut-to-hut on well-established tracks, but I am actually reserved by name for the Routeburn Track!


Much love to all,
Tomate.

Dec. 14 - Wanaka

Dec. 14, 2008
Wanaka, Central Otago

Wow, what a trip: you pass over to the eastern side of the Southern Alps, and suddenly the rainforest yields to open fields. Suddenly, you are not contained within a green sea, and you can see everything -- like doulbe-tracks going up a mountainside 3 miles away. Within a few minutes of driving, you go from a Costa Rica-like environment, to one that is not that far off from the American West..........except for the lakes. They have these deep blue, almost Tahoe-sized lakes with snow-capped mountains dropping precipitously in. !Quelle dramatique!

In the world of wilderness pornography, New Zealand is in a category all by itself: this is prurient, under-the-counter material. Even I am shocked.

Why am I not on the trail? Well, I was planning to do the Young-Wilkin Valleys circuit with 2 Israeli dudes. Then, we checked the forecast: rain through Thursday. Tough break. Discussing the matter with those dudes and the ranger, we anticipated several days of hiking in the rain, and being stuck in huts the rest of the time.

So, for me, the idea of slogging in the rain for 4 days sounds about as fun as an accidental hershey squirt. I'll wait 'til the storm passes.

I met a black dude from the States today, and mention his race just because he may be the only African-American on the South Island. Anyway, dude is an IT manager and was living in SF, and then after Bush was re-elected in 2004, moved to Auckland. You hear people say things like that all the time, but it's cool to meet someone who has actually followed through with it. And dude loves it; doesn't really miss California. He said he might consider moving back once Obama's at the helm, but with the financial situation, he doesn't seem to be in too much of a hurry.
`

Dec. 13 -- Fox Glacier holiday Park

I've been bogging down in camp life at the Fox Glacier Holiday Park...Actually, it's been pretty cool.

First, the weather has been so fucked up that the only people bold enough to pitch a tent are the Israelis, who are tough as nails.

Second, the glaciers have been occluded since clouds moved in 2 days ago, and have yet to reappear.

Third, for an RV park, the place is pretty dope...it's set right at the base of one of the glacier valleys, and surrounded on all sides by lush green fields and trees. The mountain views are grand.

Fourth, they got Al Jazeerah, Australian news and Britney Spears on the satellite TV in this biyotch! I holed up during the storm and spent some time catching up on the world (looks like things have not improved), and working on my novel, which is 100% sleaze...it's all sex, drugs and money.

Fifth, I got to mix it up with various tourists coming through, shower up, and safely watch the storm that would have otherwise kept me (still) trapped in Copeland Valley. It turns out that this area gets about 7000X more rain than the other side of the mountains, so I won't be hit by that kind of storm on my other tramps.

Six, the storm ended with a lovely rainbow at sunset, and all the little campers gathered to gaze at this parting gift from the mother of all storms.

Dec. 12 -- Fox Glacier

Jee-suss, the rain last night was insane. that would have been like a year's worth of rain for SF. I am stoked I hiked out of Copeland Valley as there's no way that trail could have survived last night's storm.

btw, as an indication that the weather has, indeed, been crazy, there have been all sorts of record floodings on the So. Island, resulting in lots of bridges being taken out. I would be scared to be stuck back there, unable to cross a river. The topography is so extreme, and the vegetation so thick, that I don't think you could trailblaze out. you'd be solidly stuck.

anyways, I'm always meeting random people, and last night this huge group of college students from Union College (NY) were staying at this caravan place I'm at. first off, they looked like kids. So young. Second, I felt an odd, nationalistic pride in hanging with them. Unlike the meek and reserved Eurotrash around here, they were gregarious and talkative. They also didn't look as wimpy as all the Euros. they looked like they could kick some Euro ass, actually. but they were good kids; totally polite and respectful.

Because we were in the middle of a huge storm, I thought to myself that these are the kinds of people I'd want to be with if there was some kind of emergency. Those Germans...they seem more out-for-self. Maybe it's the language gap, I don't know. Or maybe I've just been over-exposed to uptight Germans. They are a dime-a-dozen down here.

Last night, I determined that the vast majority of drivers in Fox Glacier are trained in driving on the right side...you see people correcting all the time....

Dec. 11 -- Fox Glacier

Dec. 10, 2008
Fox Glacier

Just back from my first overnight tramp! Copland Valley was b'doss, tho not what I expected.
First, I thought it would be packed. There are so many tourists here, and these tracks are so well-organized by the Dept of Conservation, that I pictured being in train the whole time. Not so: I saw only 2 people yesterday, and 5 today. amazing!

Second, I thought the track (trail) would be a clean, well-graded single-track. Not so at all -- the track itself was crazy and demanding: multiple hairy creek crossings, quicksand, slippery rocks, muddy slopes, slippery wet roots, washouts...there was even a chain at one point and you had to "rappel" down the side of a creek-cut gorge.

Third, the NZ rainforest ain't the Sierra.....the growth is lush and impenetrable; I saw only 2 places clear and flat enough to throw up a tent on the whole track. It's a lot more like Costa Rica. Trying to go cross-country here would be insane....Definitely would need a machete...or better yet, a bulldozer.

Fourth, there's no critters! It's fucking bizarre. You have this warm, wet, green environment...but not a single spiderweb, newt, butterfly, wasp, frog...and only the very occasional bird call. I'm told this is "normal" or "natural", but I don't understand how that is possible? critters made it to all of the other Pacific islands, right?

Fifth, I never thought I'd stay in a hut...too much of a purist, bla bla bla. however, after 4 tough hours of trudging, the Architect Creek Hut was a welcome sanctuary. Firing up the pot-bellied stove, I felt that all I needed was a rocking chair and a corncob pipe.

Sixth, a big storm came in this morning. What is the deal with the weather here? The weather has been chaotic since my arrival (an observation repeatedly corroborated by the locals). Plus, the dumb-ass weather forecast never, ever gets it right down here. I would not have gone out if I knew a big storm was rolling in -- those cricks can quickly become impassable.

Seventh, and possibly the biggest surprise of all, is that I was awakened by a she-ranger with nice gaiters and an encyclopaedic knowledge of hot springs in California (*everyone* down here has been to Cally). She was pretty cute, and we mixed it up amicably and chatted about outdoorsy stuff. Then, I attempted to seduce her with a Nescafe Cappuccino....but she gave me the Heismann! Oh well, it was still great to meet her. Chicks who can handle themselves in the backcountry rule.

Dec. 9 -- Fox Glacier

Dec. 9, 2008
Fox Glacier

Gotta say, "Fox Glacier" is a pretty badass sounding name for a town...
There are two glaciers here: Fox, and Franz Josef. While they are both absolutely incredible, I don't know how this jackass Franz got his full name attached to a glacier.

Anyway, I was kinda skeptical....have seen many glaciers, and they are basically snow, right? wrong. *These* glaciers are like massive ice rivers racing down from the Mt. Cook massif almost down to the sea...there is no question when you see them that they are "alive" (tho they are, of course, in retreat). they come down from above the clouds, and push down into these fertile green valleys like a massive, luminiscent white wave crashing into the jungle. These are super-fast moving glaciers that are "fed" by the constant rain/snow above, and they are rare in that they extend all the way down to sea level...it's like a winter wave invading from the high country. the juxtaposition of the white ice against the deep green rain forest is really something special to see. There is an "awe" that surrounds these things that is like when you first see Mt. Shasta. I got a serious tingle...

Esoteria:

Fucking sandflies -- I was attacked one night in Moteuca 2 weeks ago, when I slept sans-tent on the beach...but those fuckers are still with me in the form of dozens of bite/scabs around my feet and ankles. I had a scratching attack in Nelson that had me begging the pharmacist to help me with the itch; i was crumpled on the floor right in the store rubbing the creme into my feet to put the fire out.

road system -- is like the internet. there isn't a straight road in this country...it's like a complex latticework, with multiple ways to get from A to B. NZ has what I call "egg carton" topography....the mountains and hills aren't oriented around faults, and lack the linearity of mountain ranges in the US...it's topsy-turvy.

DOC -- the ubiquitous Dept of Conservation offices are the "keys to the outdoors" in NZ (that's my jingle, not theirs.) Every single natural area, route, and hut is endlessly catalogued, photographed and described in pamphlets, murals, dioramas, photos, maps, multimedia stations, and the super-chipper DOC staff. for example, the $1NZ (60cents US) pamplet for the Routeburn Track includes a slick graduated color scale topo map of the area, beautiful photos, a blow-by-blow description of every foot of the trail and description and photos of all the huts, plus a specific list of every single item that you need to bring, a discussion of the geology and natural history, flora, fauna, weather, how to get there, etc. etc...So, again, you are very much entering into the "known" realm when you head to the backcountry here.

Tourons - yep, there are dozens of Euro-jackai at every turn. What are you going to do? It's like Xander said, "You're not going to have a good time at Disneyland until you just accept that churros are ten fucking dollars." Word. The crowd levels here (e.g., at the glacier) might bother me in the US, but here I don't trip. I'm eezy-freezy.

Chicks -- Three times now I have seen a vanagon full of super-fit, presumably Eastern European supermodels, each time in passing. Next time I will throw a road spike under their tire or something. Otherwise, it has not been cracking. I meet all sorts of cool people of all nationalities and ages, but rarely a single lady in the 20-40 age range that would pique my interest. I think the hot chicks go to mazatlan or something . you know you've got it bad when you're optimistic about the gaming opportunities in the backcountry huts......

Dec. 8 - Hokatiki or thereabouts

December 8, 2008
somewhere near Hotakiki
pissing rain, 58 degrees

Major rain day. Took care of admin items and planning.
esoteria:

"ChCh" -- the abbreviation they use for Chistchurch. Am I the only one who thinks that "Christchurch" is kind of a severe name for a city?

"Dairy" -- this is what cornerstores are called

history of NZ -- is one of the shortest of any country in the world (not counting the Maori). Thus, the kiwis are very much New Worlders -- more so than Americans by 100 years or so. many of the references are English; however, the average kiwi is nothing like a Brit...way too friendly, low-key and simple.

no frontier -- there's no real "frontier" here, except for fjordland, I suppose. America has the West, Chile has the Atacama, Australia has the bush...but all of these are deserts which thwarted agrarian development. NZ, however, is wet and fertile throughout; no part of the country was left open and untouched. There reallly isn't much of a "cowboy/frontier" ethic here; no sense of there being huge tracts of unusued public land. Every place has a name and purpose. This, combined with the dense growth, means that the only place that you can just drive into and camp anywhere is the beach...this means that the droves of camper tourists stay in the RV parks every night. these places have TV, showers and Internet, but they are jam-packed full of euro-tourons, so i avoid 'em.

no radio signal -- the only place i have experienced this before is deep in the mountains, or down in Baja. here, with NZ' crazy egg-carton topography, and limited development, its common to have radio silence.....

4MM...that's the population of all of NZ. that's about 1/2 of the bay area. that still boggles my mind; I really am at a loss to understand how that is possible.

Rock snot, aka DIDYMO -- an invasive species in So. Island waterways that looks like, well, snot...nasty stuff, and they have "Educators" at the ferry line who tell you how to avoid bringing it to the no. island

Food -- damn, we have it good in SF. it is so hard to find good food here -- even in the supermarket, which has a lot of schlocky stuff. i have to come to realize that the average roadside restaurant is nasty, and plan accordingly. it's so bad that you look forward to McDee's. Yes, it's THAT bad.

Dec. 7 -- Avalanche Peak

Dec. 7, 2008
Arthur's Pass (Avalanche Peak TH)
breezy and mostly clear, 70

Well, today turned out pretty outstanding given that I was attacked last night and woke up in my own urine.

Basically, they have these huge, green parrots called "kea" here...they are about the size of a large owl. They prowl around the human areas -- parking lots, camping areas, trail summits -- and beg for scraps. they even make tortured doggie begging sounds....it's pathetic. so loud, so annoying. and they are extremely agressive.

when i set up camp last night, they kept trying to chisel into my dinner...so i gathered some rocks, tagged a few of them, and they stopped coming around (i noticed with a silent chuckle that they moved on to the neighboring german in his RV...picture like 10 big green birds stamping around the roof and banging the tops with their beaks, while the guy inside freaks out...funny to see a german's feathers ruffled...the germans are so robotic in demeanor.)

anyways, i watched this flock systematically terrorize all of the campers. i maintained a "no fly" zone in my immediate camp area by being vigilant with the rocks.

well, i got into my tent, and was just falling asleep...and they descended on my camp like a bunch of wild monkeys! hacking away at my tent, and worse yet, trying to break into my car! i jumped out of my tent, and one had his beak on my aerial, another was ripping the fabric on my camp chair, and the others were engaged in similar acts of terrorism. i couldn't believe the audacity. i think they did this just as payback for the rocks.

when they first attacked and i jumped out of my tent, i knocked over my pee-bottle...and it let a trickle of pee percolate under my tent over night. thus, i woke up a bit damp. i blame the birds 100%.

anyway, i was all cross this morning after that malicious attack and the resulting pee problem, and i was starting to talk myself out of hiking. but i said, "just go to the bush line (treeline) and get a view." well, i got there and had to keep going to the summit, which was a knife edge ridge. the payoff in terms of views was unique and intense. the valley was so steep and it was completely dramatic going up -- almost "high anxie3ty" inducing, tho it was a very safe track and there were plenty of people. the views of the surrounding mountains and glaciers was superb.

Dec. 6 - Arthur's Pass National Park

December 6, 2008
Arthurs's Pass Village
mostly clear with cool wind, about 66

I tell ya, there's not much "foreplay" with these mountains -- they just rise up straight out of the plain, and you almost instantly go from driving in open fields to moving through a steep valley with snow-capped peaks. The rock is volcanic and has a grey color, like the Ebbetts Pass area, or Mt. Dana.

The climb up to Avalance Peak, which is my goal for tomorrow, is 1100 meters in 2.4km. if you do the math, that's a steep fucking climb!

The guidebook talked about multi-day tramps, but the area appears limited to me in terms of lack of lakes, impenetrable forest, and tons of greywacke...so I'm going to move on after tomorrow.

Esoteria:
The average kiwi dude -- wears big, muddy rubber wellingtons with super-short rugby shorts, and an old t-shirt. this is standard attire. compare to the average SF dude...i wonder what that would be? (prolly some lawyer dude...)

the same main street -- well, the quaint little villages that you come across everywhere are lined with retailers who at first blush appear to be independents...but then you see the same stationery store, health products outlet and pharmacy on every main street.

"clean as you go" -- this is something I learned when I was a bartender. I maintain a clean and well-ordered ride at all times. however, i defend myself from charges of being anal by arguing that neatness is, in fact, technique: it is infinitely easier to find something you are looking for when you can see all of your gear and you consistently store stuffin the same place. Interestingly, this habit used to tbe ther first thing that would go out the window when i was partying.

epicurus - I embrace most of his philosophy. Epicurus eschewed the public light, instead choosing to lead a contemplative life under the radar. He maintained compounds where he would have an extensive garden, and would entertain friends with philosophical discussion. Epicurus was one of the first great philosophers to NOT believe in an afterlife, and he believed that pleasure in this life should be the highest goal. (However, Epicurus called for moderation over excess; arguing that the negative consequences of the latter, on net, reduced the value of the pleasure derived. Epicurus believed that friends are the most important thing in life (he did not have children).

dusty floormat -- I have never, ever seen so much dust come out of a floormat....on the 20th beating, my floormat was still exploding in huge plumes of dust.

Barack Obama -- he's got a tough job ahead...I worry that people may put too much faith in the man initially...his election was and always will be a historic moment for all humankind. but to expect that everything wiill be OK right away is foolish. We are in a severe economic downturn, the likes of which no one has ever seen. The day in, day out volatility of the stock markets says is unprecedented and, honestly, probably only leads downward. serious economic problems was the reason that i called off my baja kayaking trip. I cant remember there ever being this level of uncertainty to life. this is the world we live in.

play up the American bit -- in England, yanks are not popular. but here, it's all good...New Zealanders are New Worlders, too. Thus, while I initially thought that i'd adopt the accent here, ive taken to playing up my american-ness...people love it.

Greymouth - Dec. 6

cool overnight, maybe 58 with seabreeze
clear and sunny today with high cirrus clouds, about 66

Didn't make it to Arthur's Pass yesterday afternoon....I was done driving for the day. Plus, I'm having "stove issues".

So, the story of Norwegian Wood:
When John was married to Cynthia Lennon, they lived in a flat in West London. Beneath them was a beautiful German woman (featured in girlie calendars, apparently) who claimed she was Norwegian b/c of flak toward Germans after WWII. She had wood panelling in her apartment, and John was having an affair with her.

So there you have it! That is the first useful thing I've heard on NZ radio...the banter is so ridiculously amateurish and banal, it's amusing (all tiny radio markets, you see.)

Westport - Dec. 4

December 4, 2008
Westport, West Coast, So. Island
current: 60 degrees, severe cloudbursts

day: 58-72, variable wind, sunshine yielding to cloud cover by mid-day

Now that I've got a laptop charger, I can spend more time writing these blog entries. I will try and start with my whereabouts and what's actually going on in each entry, before I delve into self-indulgent banter and esoteria.

I should note that when friends have left SF, I have only been tangentially aware of their efforts, sort of an "out of sight, out of mind" effect. I have no idea if anyone actually reads this crap...but it somehow makes me feel connected.

I reached the West Coast moments ago, amidst the mother of all rainstorms...so much water that all surfaces were sheeets of moving water. there was a not-unsizeable whirlpool at the drain right in front of the restaurant I'm at.

I spent the morning doing on-the-road administrative shit in Nelson, the most exciting of which is that I reserved permits for the Routeburn Track over XMAS. Some believe that this is the finest backpacking trip ON THE PLANET!~ Routeburn or neighboring Milford always make the "Top 10 hikes of the world" list.

now for esoteria:

empty Starbucks -- what few Starbucks I have seen (3) have been empty. I hope to read into this that the kiwi's are conscious enough to be actively avoiding Sbux.

boobie showcase -- the young ladiefolk of this country dress in a manner that would be considered highly tacky in the US; they also do so regardless of whether they are good-looking or not. the ubiquitous presentation of cleavage is almost ridiculous.

Germans --- jesus christ, these fuckers are everywhere! what's the deal with that? they are so damn robotic.

lack of cops -- you just don't seem 'em. by comparison, California is a police state
over the top marketing of outdoor activities-- skydive! river raft! bungee jump! bla bla bla....there is so much shit going on here, it's mind-boggling. this has got to be the outdoor recreation capital of the world. the predominant culture here is tourist/outdoor culture. but what do you expect? you don't come for the culture. all the endless outdoor activity marketing would bug me more if things were too crowded; however, thus far, it's actually been really quiet more often than not. this is supposed to change when xmas break starts in 10 days, and then the countryside fills with kiwis.

"backpacking" -- means something different here....it means "budget traveler", and hostels here actually call themselvers "backpackers hostel". Basically, it's someone schlepping their stuff from the bus depot to the hostel in a backpack. "Tramping" is the act of donning a backpack and hiking into the backcountry.

"freedom campers" -- would basically be considered homeless in california. this is anyone - like me -- that camps outside the designated campgrounds. i tell ya, i did not come this far to sit cheek-and-jowl with a bunch of fools in campervans in some campground/park.

Greymouth - Dec. 3

I have a couple blog postings on my laptop, but lack the technology to post those right now and right here.

I am finally going up to the mountains -- Arthur's Pass, specifically: the highest populated place in NZ with a whopping population of 66. I highly doubt they will have Internet connections there. I will be back in anywhere from a day to a week, depending on what I find up there. (Don't worry, Mom: I will file a "flight plan" with the rangers so that I don't end up like those 2 climbers on Mt. Cook...(and also, don't worry: I'm not climbing anything even close to that high or technical...I don't even know if there'll be snow.))

Maleuca -- Dec. 3

Yesterday was amazing. I hiked one the 8 official "Great Walks" of New Zealand -- the Abel Tasman Coastal Track.

The area was so damn pretty that the word "heaven" popped into my mind...the golden sand on these beaches is magic, like nothing I've ever seen before...not super-fine, but very "soft" and "clean" feeling...in fact, the whole area has a very groomed feeling to it -- nothing out of place. Every little cove is picture-perfect: golden sand and azure water, esconced by granite headwalls on each side...and the trail is even better: these beautiful, tight-knit, very thin-trunked trees clump together and "lean" toward the water, and form a dreamy canopy.

Given the unbelievable number of tourists here (every fourth car is a rental vanagon), I thought it would be uncomfortably crowded...but it was actually just about the right number of people.

The highlight of the trip was walking down the beach in Mutton Cove, where 2 oyster catchers were nesting. As I walked by, they started to squawk angrily at me, and as I got closer, they actually started to charge me -- first running on the ground, and then dive-bombing me in the air! I was impressed. I really got the feeling that if I had gotten any closer to the nest, they would have actually "hit" me.

Anyway, Abel Tasman definitely filled me with that feeling of wonder -- when you are just struck by something. What a rare and wonderful feeling. That's exactly what I'm here for.

I'm heading south to more alpine tracks as soon as I get replacement disposable contacts (more difficult that it's worth going into...very 3d world)